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What's the best way to tell your roommate you don't want to room with her anymore?

Topic: Roommates | Asked by: Anonymous | Asked on 06/17/2010

Answers (40)

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First, figure out what the problem is and see if it can be solved somehow. If your roommate is annoying you, she may not know she is. If the problem can't be solved, just sit down and tell her nicely that you think it would be better for the both of you if you could find other roommates.

Answered by: Jen B. | about 4 years ago
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In a situation like this, honestly truly is the best policy. Just be upfront and honest about it, and tell her to her face! Don't be confrontational, just explain to her that things aren't working out and you think it is best for the both of you if you both find different roommates. Don't point fingers or play the blame game; that is sure to end up nasty and feelings will be hurt. Just talk to her calmly and have a peaceful, respectful discussion about it. Things should be fine!

Answered by: Boylen33 D. | about 4 years ago
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The best way to tell your roommate you don't want to room with her anymore is to be open an honest if possible. If you don't want to room with her because she parties all the time or engages in behavior in your room that you don't approve of, such as underage drinking or smoking pot, let her know how you feel. Beating around the bush or tolerating it won't solve the problem.

Answered by: Beentheredonedat J. | about 4 years ago
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There is never an easy way to tell someone you don't want to room with them anymore. I found that being honest is the best and also the easiest way to go. Be polite and remember that it will probably hurt their feelings a little. Just tell her him that you feel it would be better for both of your grades and in the long run just better the the both of you. Give your reasons and expect to get a reaction out of your roommate.

Answered by: Paulie J313 G. | about 4 years ago
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I don't think there's really a best way to do that. If your relationship has reached that point, you might as well just tell him or her straight out. Be aware, though, that if this is a dorm roommate assigned by the college, you may be unabled to just quit rooming with him or her. If that's your situation, you might want to try and work something out with your dorm's head resident.

Answered by: Null Terminator N. | about 4 years ago
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The best way to tell your roommate you want out is to clearly lay out the reasons you would rather not live with them. If they are messy tell them. This lets them know why you are moving out and may even correct the behavior

Answered by: Zolty F. | about 4 years ago
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I would tell her that you would like to try rooming with someone else because college is about trying new things. I would suggest telling her that you want to room with a new friend at your school. I would not make it personal because that will only make it more awkward between the two of you. I would make sure to talk with your roommate before deciding to room with someone else to make sure you___re making the right choice. In the end, I would be honest with your current roommate because lying usually ends badly for everyone.

Answered by: Mattwrt Z. | about 4 years ago
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The best way to let your roommate know is to tell her yourself. No one likes gossip girls! Don't let her find out from someone else! Honesty is always the best policy!

Answered by: Ginger Tea K. | about 4 years ago
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If there are problems, be sure to address them with the roommate first. Talk with her and let her know what is bothering you. If that doesn't work, make plans with who ever is in charge with rooming and change your room. Then tell your roommate that you are leaving.

Answered by: Bowz N. | about 4 years ago
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Being honest and truthful. Many times best friends just aren't compatible living partners. If you are feel it is best to live apart, your roommate is probably feeling the same.

Answered by: Mentor4you S. | about 4 years ago
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I would suggest on holding off on telling them that until you are approved for a room change. Room changes during the semester are hard to come by. Once you are approved tell her face to face. On the phone, a message, or e-mail isn't polite and then it will ensure things will be akward between the two of you. Campuses do seem big, but when you are avoiding people they become some of the smallest places on Earth.

Answered by: Molae06 Q. | about 4 years ago
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Be straight and up front with her. The best idea is to sit her down and talk to her one on one. Make sure she understands the exact reasons why you wish to not room with her anymore.

Answered by: Comedian Y. | about 4 years ago
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Try not to be mean about it. Just say that you don't think the vibe is good anymore. Say that you enjoyed living with her but you are just ready to try new things and meet new people. Say that you will both grow from the split.

Answered by: Roommate A. | about 4 years ago
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This can be a sensitive subject, especially when you don't want anyone to get their feelings hurt. The problem is you don't want any problems to build up. At risk of sounding cliche, honesty really is the best policy.

Answered by: Jas Po Sf P. | about 4 years ago
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If there are problems, be sure to address them with the roommate first. Talk with her and let her know what is bothering you. If that doesn't work, make plans with who ever is in charge with rooming and change your room. Then tell your roommate that you are leaving.

Answered by: Bowz N. | about 4 years ago
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I would suggest on holding off on telling them that until you are approved for a room change. Room changes during the semester are hard to come by. Once you are approved tell her face to face. On the phone, a message, or e-mail isn't polite and then it will ensure things will be akward between the two of you. Campuses do seem big, but when you are avoiding people they become some of the smallest places on Earth.

Answered by: Molae06 Q. | about 4 years ago
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Be straight and up front with her. The best idea is to sit her down and talk to her one on one. Make sure she understands the exact reasons why you wish to not room with her anymore.

Answered by: Comedian Y. | about 4 years ago
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Try not to be mean about it. Just say that you don't think the vibe is good anymore. Say that you enjoyed living with her but you are just ready to try new things and meet new people. Say that you will both grow from the split.

Answered by: Roommate A. | about 4 years ago
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This can be a sensitive subject, especially when you don't want anyone to get their feelings hurt. The problem is you don't want any problems to build up. At risk of sounding cliche, honesty really is the best policy.

Answered by: Jas Po Sf P. | about 4 years ago
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In a situation like this, honestly truly is the best policy. Just be upfront and honest about it, and tell her to her face! Don't be confrontational, just explain to her that things aren't working out and you think it is best for the both of you if you both find different roommates. Don't point fingers or play the blame game; that is sure to end up nasty and feelings will be hurt. Just talk to her calmly and have a peaceful, respectful discussion about it. Things should be fine!

Answered by: Boylen33 D. | about 4 years ago
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My best advice would be to tell your roommate flat out why you don't want to room with her, but don't be rude about it. During college, you don't want to make any enemies since that only adds to the stress you will have every day. Just let her know you guys can still be friends, but living together isn't working out for you and you need to focus on school so you can graduate.

Answered by: Tonya S H. | about 4 years ago
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The best way would be to room with one of your friends and ask if she wouldn't mind switching. That way your not telling your room mate straight out that you don't want to room with her just that you would rather room with your friend.

Answered by: Hirise5190 G. | about 4 years ago
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It is best to them politely and explain why you no longer want to be roommates. There is no easy way really. Offer them help in finding another place or rooming with someone else. I am sure they would want to hear it from you than from somebody else.

Answered by: Nycpigeons Q. | about 4 years ago
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If the semester is coming to a close, you could tell her that for the upcoming semester, you want to try living on another part of campus, or meet other new people. Give her advanced notice so that she is not caught off guard. This will give her time to make her own new arrangements. Ask her if maybe she has a friend that she'd rather live with anyway.

Answered by: Mighty Spidey L. | about 4 years ago
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Probably the best way is to get the RA involved. Schedule a meeting, first with your RA, then with your roommate and the RA as a mediator. Of course, another way is to simply find other living arrangements, and let them know 'matter-of-factly' at the end of a term. Try to do it in a way that's not hurtful, even if the roommate and you didn't get along. If you're uncomfortable with confrontation, go the official RD route.

Answered by: Grad12 I. | about 4 years ago
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This can be very difficult especially if you are concerned with your roommates feelings, i personally never was. Find out whether you want to move out or if you want her to move out first. If you are moving it thats simple jsut pack up and leave. If she has to move out you may need to place a complaint through the school if your are dorming, and move on from there. Compile a list of all the reasons why you don't want to be roommates and find the least confrontational way of getting your point across.

Answered by: Jon H. | about 4 years ago
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Telling a roommate that your current living situation isn't working is a difficult thing to do. If you are on speaking terms with your roommate, simply ask if you can speak to him or her, and explain that while you've enjoyed getting to know them, you feel that it is best for you to change rooms. Wish them the best, and move on. Though not very considerate, you could always simply move one day, without saying anything at all, though you risk hurting your roommate. By placing their emotions before your own, you'll avoid awkward situations in the future, when you might come into contact with your former roommate.

Answered by: Adamkendallz V. | about 4 years ago
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I would apporach this way. I think we do not live good together. I like you as a person but feel living together is not working. I would be respectful and do this just you and her or him. Being honest with someone is better than trying to lie to them. Also I would say that maybe it did not work now because you feel that you are not getting along. No matter what tell them because your life will be bad until you be honest.

Answered by: Momtrying2makeit Z. | about 4 years ago
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Is this a dorm situation or an apartment situation? Either way, man up or woman up and part your ways. Don't worry about hurting their feelings because chances are, you don't have plans on being their friend. Tell then the truth ... don't go into details and most of all don't give them specific reasons why. The words "You always do ...." should not come out of your mouth. Or if you want to be more sneaky, then at the end of the term, just tell them you don't know what your plans are for the next semester. Then go find another roommate.

Answered by: L Platter F. | about 4 years ago
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I would definitely tell her gently. Don't list a bunch of specific reasons why you don't want to live with her. If you've already found some other people to live with, then just explain that a great opportunity has come up and you really want to live with these people. If you haven't already found a place to live, then perhaps just explain that you want some change - you want to try out living with different people to really broaden your college experience. Whatever you do, try not to burn any bridges - you don't want to create a feud between you and your current roommate even if you think you will never run into her again.

Answered by: Mem4dr A. | almost 4 years ago
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There is no easy way to tell your roommate that. If you have been fighting you could blame it on that and say you want to save your friendship. You could tell her that you are too differen't people and its just not working out. If your moving out then tell her another friend want you to live with them. You could also just take the blame and say you just can't share a space.

Answered by: Kw29 H. | about 4 years ago
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First, try and work out your issues. If it something that you two can get past then you should try to. Everyone takes some getting used to and she might find you hard to get used to as well. If you find that you can't get past your issues, then consider talking to your resident advisor. They might be able to help you switch out roommates.

Answered by: Jen B. | about 4 years ago
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The best way to go about telling your roommate you don't want to room with her is to first and foremost be polite about it!. Don't tell your roommate anything negative or say it in a mean way. Just go about saying you are seeking to find a new room to board. Maybe you can tell her you would like to go to a different dorm or you're seeking a bigger one. Just remember to be polite and graceful about the situation.

Answered by: Phrisch Later A. | about 4 years ago
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Well, since it sounds like you care for your roomate and want to put her down nicely, I would suggest finding another place before you tell her and then say another friend needs you to room with her or else she'll lose her own place. It may be a lie, but it will get the job done. You could also simply tell her you don't want to room with her anymore and tell her why. Perhaps the two of you could work something out or she could stop some daily habits which may be annoying you.

Answered by: Mayell U. | about 4 years ago
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In this situation, the best thing to do is to sit down with your roommate and speak directly to her. Make sure she understands the exact reasons why you wish to no longer room with her. Try your best to be nice and keep the situation under control.

Answered by: I Can Feel S. | about 4 years ago
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Just be mature and respectful about it. Tell her you need to have your own room in order to be able to complete your courses. Tell her the truth. Above all, act like an adult.

Answered by: Elitesack O. | about 4 years ago
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You should just be honest with your roommate. Try to break it to them gently if you don't want to hurt their feelings. Tell them the things that you loved about rooming with them. Also, tell them the reason you do not want to room with them. You could also tell them that this doesn't mean that you two can't be friends anymore, you just want to room with somebody else.

Answered by: Lanig91 B. | about 4 years ago
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The best way to let your roommate know is to tell her yourself. No one likes gossip girls! Don't let her find out from someone else! Honesty is always the best policy!

Answered by: Ginger Tea K. | about 4 years ago
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Being honest and truthful. Many times best friends just aren't compatible living partners. If you are feel it is best to live apart, your roommate is probably feeling the same.

Answered by: Mentor4you S. | about 4 years ago
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This is a delicate situation, so definitely be careful with how you approach it. Perhaps suggest that your friendship would actually improve if you don't live together anymore, as the space will give you time to grow individually. Don't bring her personality or any annoying habits up, but instead just mention that the arrangement isn't working for you.

Answered by: Paris587 U. | about 4 years ago
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